• Lillie Burke

Fake dates with: Kevin & Jessica

Tayst 2100 21st Ave. S. Nashville, TN 37212 (615) 383-1953

6 Miss Tonyas 3 hearts

Kevin: Tonight, I wanted to do something special. I wanted this evening to be one she never forgot. I made reservations at Tayst. I hoped she would love their local and sustainable food, but I was worried the place would break my wallet. Luckily, I had a Groupon.

Jessica: Kevin was definitely trying to impress me tonight. He must have some secret job I don’t know about because he took me to Tayst and ordered the three-course chef’s special for me. I have never had a man order for me like that. Unfortunately, the restaurant was dead on a Thursday evening, which made for a low-key night and quiet, awkward conversations. The waiter first brought us a basket of cornbread, which we thought was our first course …

Kevin: When we ordered the chef’s special, they told us the first course would be “sweetbreads,” and we got a basket of cornbread, which is kind of sweet. Naturally, we both assume this is our first course, and are a little bit surprised at how small the bread is. For $45 per person, we were hoping for a lot more than a basket of rolls.

Jessica: Well, we were wrong, turns out the rolls were just that —rolls. Soon after, the real sweetbreads came out … a lumpy, slimy piece of what looked like pork. After looking up sweetbreads on Kevin’s iPhone, we discovered we were chewing on the throat or pancreas of an animal. We still aren’t sure.

Kevin: To say we aren’t sure is an understatement. We’re not sure what kind of animal it was or even what part of said animal it came from. For all we know, it could have been opossum pancreas. No matter which way you put it, sweetbreads are not romantic … period.

Jessica: But they are a high-class delicacy! Apparently. After my nausea disappeared, we feasted on baked salmon served over steamed kale. Watching Kevin devour his meal from across the table, I realized how much I treasured our relationship. What will happen when I graduate in May? This could be our last date. What if he moves on and finds … a younger woman.

Kevin: I could tell that something was bothering Jessica as we ate our delicious sorbets. She was obviously upset about something, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she didn’t like the bright green scoop of herb sorbet or if it was because she was worried about “us.” But as soon as she ate the vanilla and tobacco sorbet, I knew it was “us.” After all, how could she not like the best flavor of the bunch? When she said she wanted to stay together after graduation, I was excited, but apprehensive. I’ve already had my heart broken by a girl once before, and I wasn’t about to do it again. I took a bite of the spicy and cool hibiscus-pepper sorbet, and knew what we would do.

Jessica: Summer will give us time to take things slow. Hopefully our dates will continue, because I love free food … and Kevin.

Overall, we thought Tayst was a fancy local food restaurant with a great menu. The chef’s special is not for the picky eater, but if you’re feeling adventurous, we highly recommend it. At least now we know what “sweetbreads” are. If you’re looking for a place to woo your locavore lover with a nice meal, this is it.

We’re here to sacrifice our taste buds for your dating desires, because we all know that the only way to your heart is through your stomach.

Have an idea for somewhere you’d like us to scope out? Send us an email at blmntvision@gmail.com.

#fakedates #Tayst

0 views0 comments