Once again, Valentine’s Day is upon us. Giant stuffed bears, anatomically-incorrect boxes of chocolate and gratuitous amounts of PDA are everywhere.
You’re single. It sucks. But it doesn’t have to. Compiled here is the definitive list of everything you can do to make the most out of the worst day of the year.
As the wise Jaden Smith once tweeted, “Most Trees Are Blue.” We’re not sure what it means, but today it might be a helpful bit of advice. Read on, friends.
1. Get ahead on homework, way ahead on homework. 2. Call your parents, see how they’re doing. Leave a voicemail, they’re probably busy. 3. Watch Netflix alone. Or with a friend, if handy. 4. Adopt a dog. 5. Drink Capri Sun and pretend it’s fine wine. Because it’s Belmont. And because you are alone. 6. Think about Pam and Jim. Cry. 7. Read that book you bought from McKay’s six months ago because you “wanted to read more.” 8. Give Mein Bowl another try. It could be good this time. 9. Download Tinder. Again. 10. Steal some chocolate from the folks at the bottom of the caf steps. Who said you have to buy candy? 11. Go see 50 Shades Freed. 12. Leave a Valentine on the pile of laundry you just dumped out of the washer. 13. Read some Roman mythology, but skip the stories involving Cupid. He’s not important. 14. Go to the store and stock up on groceries. And get some ice cream. You deserve ice cream. 15. Find rain. 16. Walk in said rain. 17. Catch up on all the new EPs your friends dropped recently. Some of them are probably good. 18. Treat yo’ self. 19. Cook up a time-consuming meal that only you could truly appreciate because you made it for yourself to enjoy, or also for a friend, if handy. 20. Read a dystopian novel that is partly a romance and reminds you how tedious and sad being in a relationship can be. 21. Revisit your ex’s Instagram. It’s been a few days. 22. Book a couples’ massage. Your RA is super chill. 23. Write a song without crying in the process. 24. Return the dog. 25. Stare into the eyes of Amanze Egekeze’s cardboard cutout. 26. Engage yourself in mind-numbing activities like crossword puzzles, mazes or riddles. Anything to take your mind off of the worries and pessimistic feelings in the recesses of your mind. 27. Go to Chago’s. The Pollo Gringo will never break your heart. 28. Head over to Tumblr for your favorite…blogs. 29. Definitely get a tattoo. 30. Order a heart-shaped pizza. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you don’t know what love is. 31. Go full Rocky montage in the FitRec Center. Sadness can’t beat a good workout. 32. Take an excessively, irresponsibly long shower. 33. Go to bed early: tomorrow is a new day.