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Belmont shuts its doors forever

Belmont University has decided to call it quits after 125 years. Campus will be shutting down effective immediately.

University officials released the following statement exclusively to the Vision:

Students are advised to immediately go back to their dorms and make travel arrangements to return home within the next three hours. University officials will be around to all residence halls and lock up shop.

When approached for comment, university President Bob Fisher said, “It’s been a good run, but it’s closing time. Turn all of the lights on over every boy and every girl. Closing time.”


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